”-If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.-Don’t bother telling your problems to anyone - 20 percent don’t care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.-Doesn’t expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?-Take my advice — I’m not using it.-I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.-Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.-Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.-I’ll bet you $4,567 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.-Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.-Ever stop to think and forget to start again?-My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver’s test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.-Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.-Give me ambiguity or give me. I really must get dinner made. If it is not on the table when he gets here, well…’ The woman’s voice trailed off as she dropped her eyes. This was further into the past than her mother-in-law had ever gone. Jane felt sadness that the disease was progressing so rapidly even as alarm rose at the woman’s words. ‘What, Helen? What happens if you don’t have dinner on the table?’ She looked up then, plastered that fake smile upon her face. Jane knew that smile too well, had used it tens of thousands of times herself. ‘Oh, dear, don’t worry I am just being melodramatic. John always says I am such an idiot about these things. You should head home though, get dinner on for your husband too. It is after all our jobs.’ Jane inhaled deeply. This was the first time that she had considered the possibility that her mother-in-law might have been a victim too. Is that where John had learned to hit her? From his father? She knew the statistics. She was not as dumb as he thought. She read. Quite a bit.
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